How do I Choose the Right Therapist?
- meaningandpurpose
- Jul 6, 2022
- 5 min read
Updated: Sep 28, 2022
This is the first of two articles about seeking therapy. In this article we think about how to choose the actual person who will be your therapist. Part 2 is about choosing the style of therapy out of the hundreds of different types available.
In the UK you can either request free therapy on the NHS or you can seek a therapist in private practice. There are also some charitable organisations offering low cost or free therapy. Due to long waiting times for NHS treatment, increasing numbers of people now are seeking private therapy. In the NHS you have little or no choice over which therapist is allocated to you, but you do have a lot of choice over this with a private therapist. If you want to see a private therapist and would like some help in choosing the right person, read on.
To make the process easier, I offer two important ‘Guiding Lights’.After these ‘Guiding Lights’, I share two other factors you may wish to consider.
Guiding Light No.1: Choose a therapist from a reputable governing body
Currently in the UK there is no law requiring any qualifications to practise as a therapist. This means anyone can set themselves up as a counsellor or psychotherapist with no training or supervision. People are sometimes shocked to hear this because it is not widely known [1]. However, only qualified therapists can join a reputable professional governing body, so this is where you should look for one.
Prospective clients are not qualified to enquire about (or check) a therapist’s qualifications or standards of practice, so this is exactly what governing bodies are there to do. They ensure their members are suitably qualified, professionally insured, in regular supervision and working ethically. The governing body also manages complaints against any therapist on their register and exists to protect both the public and the industry from malpractice.
There are many governing bodies for therapy in the UK and some of these are working together to create unified standards of training and practice across the industry. The list of bodies below is not exhaustive, but most qualified therapists belong to one or more of these. You can read more and search for therapists at these websites:
Guiding Light No. 2: Choose a therapist you personally like and feel comfortable with
The reason it is so important you feel comfortable with your therapist is because numerous studies have demonstrated that it is the quality of the therapeutic relationship which ultimately has the biggest impact on positive outcomes. [2]
Friends and relatives might recommend a therapist to you, however this doesn’t always work out. Your friend may love their counsellor, whereas you might not even like the counsellor’s photo. Maybe you don’t want to see the therapist your friend is seeing because this feels too close for comfort. Perhaps your aunt lives next door to a ‘lovely’ therapist and strongly recommends them to you, but you don’t much like the idea of consulting your aunt’s neighbour. On the other hand, someone may be recommended to you, and you genuinely like the look of them and feel reassured by the recommendation, which is great. Listen to your instincts. This part of choosing a therapist is profoundly personal and only you can know how you feel.
Another good way to search is using the Find A Therapist page on the governing bodies’ websites and find someone whose profile appeals to you. Take your time with this. Read what the various practitioners say about themselves and their work and look at their website if they have one. Once you find a practitioner profile which appeals to you, you can then make contact and ask for information about their availability and so on.
At the initial meeting, both therapist and client find out more about each other with no obligation on either to book more sessions. It is natural to feel nervous but ask yourself if you feel basically comfortable with the therapist. Do you feel understood by them? Do they ‘get’ what you are saying? Can you imagine trusting them enough to really open up? Therapy can get challenging sometimes and the greater your confidence in the therapist the more effective this will be. If you’re not sure you want to continue with them, at the end you can say you want to think about it. Maybe visit other therapists and find someone you feel more comfortable with. But if you do like the therapist and they think they can help you, that’s great. You can then go ahead and book more sessions.
Other considerations in choosing a therapist might include:
Spiritual similarities and differences:
Normally it is not necessary to see a therapist who is of the same belief system as yourself, however this may be your preference, especially if you are an active member of a religion. Some benefits of choosing a therapist with similar views/beliefs are:
If you want to talk about your faith, they will probably already understand much of this
You may have more confidence that they won’t misunderstand you, especially if some of your beliefs are not mainstream
You can’t imagine trusting or opening up to someone who does not share your faith
They may be familiar with the common psychological misunderstandings in your particular belief system and be able to separate these from a healthy understanding of the teachings
Some drawbacks of choosing a therapist with similar views/beliefs are:
You may make assumptions about the therapist’s views which may not be accurate
If your faith community is very small you may have difficulty finding a therapist who is not connected to your social circle - this could lead to blurred boundaries and ultimately ineffective therapy. (One solution is to find a therapist in another country who belongs to your religion and do therapy online, but first research the professional governing bodies and laws in that country)
If you want a specific type of therapy, there might not be a therapist in your faith community who is adequately trained in it
You may feel reluctant to admit to thoughts, feelings or actions that go against your religion’s teachings out of fear your therapist will judge you. (Note: no reputable therapist will ever do this regardless of their own beliefs)
Don’t assume that a non-religious therapist will misunderstand you if your faith is important to you. Likewise, if you are an atheist don’t assume that a therapist who belongs to a religion will be biased against you. Therapists are professionally trained to be impartial.
Online or in-person sessions:
Since the pandemic began in 2020 huge numbers of therapists have been adapting to working online. Results already show that online therapy is effective and is a valid alternative to in-person sessions. However, it remains a personal preference whether you go online for therapy or not.
Some benefits of online therapy are:
There is no travelling time or expenses
You can consult highly trained therapists who live too far away for you to travel to
You can more easily find someone outside your own social circle or immediate faith community, with little risk of bumping into them outside of therapy
You may feel more comfortable in your own space at home especially if you have a disability or it is difficult to get out
Some drawbacks of online therapy are:
You may struggle to find a suitable place to do your therapy online - you may be concerned that people you live with may overhear you which would inhibit what you feel you can say to your therapist
You might miss that feeling of just being in the same room as your therapist and feeling reassured by their presence
It may be more therapeutic simply to go out of your home and be somewhere else for a while
Choosing your therapist carefully may require a bit of thought and effort, but it is worthwhile and tends to lead to better outcomes. Invest a bit of time on this at the start of therapy and find someone you really connect with.
[2] Horvath, A. O. (2001). The alliance. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 38(4), 365–372. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-3204.38.4.365
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